Several great things happened last week;
At the beginning of it, I stood on a beautiful part of the
coast just before dawn & watched the most amazing
sunrise over the hills as the light caught & danced
with the water, sneaking its warmth across the fields.
"Let me drink the sunrise & swallow the dawn" after Gibran.
The next privilege I had was to spend a couple of days
training & supporting Advanced Coaches working towards
their Masters' level qualification.
Then, I listened to an episode of SuperSoul Sunday where
Oprah & Bréne Brown talked about Bréne's work on &
experience of vulnerability.
I was reminded about the edgy challenge of what it takes to be a great coach & not co-incidentally,
a student of meaningful & real relationships: the art of Not Knowing.
Certainty is not only what it's easy to believe we're paid to have, especially as adults & professionals
who are paid directly by those whom we aspire to support, but also where we
(humans that is) like to hide our not knowing.
If I'm not certain, & somehow demonstrate my uncertainty, then I will be vulnerable & open to criticism
& judgment; mine first & then that of others.
When I'm not certain, I can feel stupid, young, foolish, a pretender who is undeserving of the
opportunity I may have in that moment.
If I'm not certain, I may make a mistake, or get it 'wrong'.....I will be 'seen' as less than perfect.
When, actually....when I'm uncertain, when I know that I don't know....I'm open & real. I show up, & you
are more likely to to as well. This is true in life & certainly in coaching.
When I'm trying to be certain, I might make stuff up.
when I can stay with not being certain I'm more likely to actually listen to you, & stand an
improved chance of actually hearing you. Then, I may be more likely to really 'meet' you.
And then, what can happen?
I don't know what's 'right' for you or what you 'mean' anymore than I can know how to grab hold
of the sun. But, I'm going to keep on showing up & being there as fully as I can.
How do YOU behave when you're not certain?
I love to notice, & to wonder & to journal on the things I wonder about: as the poet David Whyte says ~to "overhear myself saying things I didn't know I knew"